Today is Hug A Diabetic day.
I've long been a supporter of this day because, well, who doesn't like hugs? But I've been thinking about it. Thinking about people like Erik and my parents who, on a frequent and regular basis, actively support my diabetes and do what they can to make my diabetic life easier. Out of those three people, Erik was able to give me a hug today. And he would have anyways, because he doesn't need a day to do that.
It made me think this day is a lot like those stupid statuses people post that sound scandalous but are really something to do with being feminine and are therefore somehow supposed to raise awareness for breast cancer. We know about breast cancer. Everybody knows breast cancer exists. This is not the kind of awareness that we need. You have not accomplished anything except maybe gotten a few people to think you were talking about sex. Congratulations. Now you can go about your life thinking you did something good for breast cancer when really you didn't do ANYTHING.
I think Hug A Diabetic day just enables people to feel like they support diabetics when they've never done anything for them. And it's completely okay if they've never helped me with my diabetes. It's probably not because they didn't want to, it's because I would never let them. I let very few people in to my diabetic life, and for good reason. It's a hard life, full of me pushing you away and telling you I've got control when I've no such thing. I'm going to be angry at you. I'm going to tell you I did something when I didn't. I'm like an addict. It's messy, it's not fun, and I only let people in that I know care enough about me to not run away as soon as I treat them awful for trying to help me.
Please don't be mistaken, I appreciate those friends who acknowledge how difficult my diabetes is and like the opportunity for a public display of affection. This is not an attack on you, but rather a redefining of how I view this day. I know your intentions are good.
So today, I would like to thank those three people who really, truly, support me as a diabetic. Erik, Mom, and Dad: you are immeasurably helpful, and I'm glad you ignore me when I get moody, get the juice when I'm low, and get the tester when I'm being a brat. If it wasn't for you three, I would be so much worse off. I owe you my life.